How To Know When It’s Time To ‘Put A Ring On It’
Thinking about marriage can give you the jitters. It’s one of the biggest decisions you’ll ever make in life and you would want to make the right choice the first time if you can help it. It doesn’t matter if you’ve been six months, six years, or six decades together. The decision to get married is still nerve-wracking to say the least.
But aside from the dread and uncertainty that comes with thoughts of marriage, there is also beauty, excitement, and fascination.
It’s beautiful how you got to meet someone whom you would even consider your wife.
It’s exciting how your whole life is still way ahead of you and you can’t wait to start it anew.
It’s fascinating how from the billions of people in this world, you found someone that gets you.
Marriage can churn all the butterflies in your stomach. Thoughts of it can make you feel dizzy and nauseous. But that’s normal. If anything, it’s good that you feel that way. It only means that you’re serious about this decision. You’re not playing games. You’re not playing the whole “get married just to get divorced later on” kind of game. You hate games and you know it. If you do decide to get married, you want it to last forever. There is definitely no turning back.
Most of the time, people simply get a gut feel whenever it’s time to get hitched. Some people are just that lucky and oblivious, probably. But for some people, anxiety takes over and they question their resolve over and over again. It makes them think:
Do I really want this?
Will I not regret it?
What if this isn’t the right person for me?
What if someone better comes along?
News flash! Marriage is not a fairy tale ending. It’s not something you do when all conditions are satisfactory. You’ll never know who the right person or when the right time is. Marriage is a choice. Staying together is a choice. It doesn’t matter if someone new comes along or someone better makes a grand entrance in your life. Right now, you have someone you cherish and when you decide to take responsibility for that woman you cherish, you devote the rest of your life to that decision – even if someone else came along, even when things turn out not as you hope they would. The world can turn inside out but if you stand by your decision to marry, nothing can stop you.
Long story short, marriage is not something you do when everything is perfect because it will never be. There is no such thing as perfect, after all. It is when you learn to strive through your union’s imperfections and flaws that you can truly enjoy the bliss of marriage. So to answer the question raised in the title, let me tell you one thing: You know when you know.
You’re probably looking lost right now. I think you’re like “Whoa. Did I read all that just to get a really vague answer to my question?” Don’t worry, pal. I won’t let you go empty-handed today. Although you will know when you know, there are still certain signs that will help you know it’s time. Most of these signs you’ll be able to observe on yourself.
So, I dare you. After you read this article, examine yourself. Following the signs and guidelines I’ll lay out below, ask yourself: Am I ready?
Your Priorities Are Set Straight
You know it’s time when you don’t give a darn about useless stuff anymore. The moment you get off work, you’d rather head home to your apartment where your girl is probably waiting with a home cooked meal she committedly learned from a YouTube video. Instead of binging drinks with the bros on weekends, you’d rather spend a laid-back break watching Netflix with your loved one. Instead of buying a brand new bike or car, you’d rather keep using the old one and save the money for rainy days. When you stop thinking about pleasuring yourself and start planning your future together, that’s when you know it’s time.
You Can’t Wait To Be Better For Your Partner
Everyday is a battle with yourself. Not because you hate who you are or anything, you just want to be someone better for your partner. Instead of smoking a pack of cigarettes a day, you cut it down to one cigarette after each meal because you know that every stick takes away 5 minutes of your future together. Instead of swearing all the time, you choose your language because you know that she gets uncomfortable hearing foul words. It doesn’t have to be a total 180 degree change. You can change little by little at your own pace. But the mere fact that you want to change is a sign that you’re ready to move on to the next chapter of your life.
You Can Imagine Your Future Together
Close your eyes for a little bit. Think about what your life is going to be like ten years from now. You come from work, exasperated. You enter the door to your modest home and smell a sweet, sweet scent gently passing through your nose. You hurry to the kitchen to see what’s cooking and inside you see someone who went ahead of herself to prepare a meal for you. Who is this someone? Is this the same girl you’re dating now? Can you imagine her as a wife? If you see her face as clear as day, then it is indeed time.
The Thought Of Losing Your Partner Makes You More Anxious Than Thoughts Of Marriage
Getting married is a tough decision to make but it’s probably because you’re too scared to think about the future. Raising a family is hard – physically, emotionally, and financially. It’s okay to fear the unknown. But if you think that losing your partner because of your indecisiveness is worse than charging into an unknown future with her, then you should already know what your decision is.